Aloneness is not the same as loneliness. A person can be alone
and not be lonely. When my wife as out of town helping my daughters-in-law
after they had given birth, I was not lonely. I knew my wife would be back, and
besides, she called me every evening. Her love was my constant comfort and
companion, and the anticipation of her soon return energized me.
On the other hand, people can be lonely though surrounded by
other people. That is my condition every time I shop at Walmart. In fact, the
presence of people, especially couples, accentuates my loneliness.
Aloneness is something we are told widows and widowers can
get used to. Apparently some do. I have not. And when I get some glimpses that
my aloneness may end, only to see the vision evaporate like the morning fog, I
feel more alone than ever.
After over half a century of marriage to a wonderful woman
whose love I did not deserve, God is teaching me what aloneness really is. And
it appears that this “crook in my lot” is not to be lifted anytime soon.
Perhaps God wills that I bear it till He takes me to heaven.
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