Two are better than one, because they have a
good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But
woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? (Ecclesiastes
4:9-11)
God designed marriage to be fulfilling. And
though marriage fulfills different needs in the man and in the woman, there is
one large need they both feel: Companionship.
In the above passage Solomon speaks of
companionship in a general sense, but for the widow or widower, the truth cuts
deeply, to our very soul. As a widow friend pointed out recently, time heals
grief but not loneliness. That’s because loneliness is not a wound like grief;
it is a chronic condition like arthritis. You can palliate it in various ways.
You can get involved in social activities, pursue a hobby, or pour out your
thoughts in writing, as I’m doing here. But when you lie down at night, it is
not two who lie down and keep one
another warm!
And it is no longer two who engage in daily
activities around the home. We long just to be needed: “Honey can you open this
jar?” Or to share those simple moments of joy and excitement: “Look! There’s a
sandhill crane in our yard!” “Oh! Come look at this sunset!” Now those simple
joys ache for an outlet.
Beloved songwriter Paul Williams expressed it
so well:
"Loneliness
Makes the winter's night seem twice as long
Makes the summer sunlight much too strong
Nothin's really wrong
It's only loneliness
"Loneliness
Like a love song or an old cliche
Has its hideouts but it's never far away
Look around you've found
It's only loneliness”
