SOME DO UNDERSTAND

The lyrics of the song “And I Love You So,” include these lines . . .

 “People ask my how,

How I’ve lived till now.

I tell them, I don’t know.

 I guess they understand,

How lonely life has been.

But life began again

The day you took my hand.

 

In the first months of my widowhood I was convinced that no one but another widowed person could understand what I was going through. And sadly, some widows in the support group failed to understand! I can only assume that they didn’t have the wonderful marriage I had.

But now, over a year and a half after my loss of Linda, I have gained many new friends who really do empathize with—if not fully understand—the desolation I have suffered. I treasure every friend who understood my hope that God would send me another mate. There were certainly those who didn’t—and still don’t. To the latter, it was as though a guy my age should just be content to live alone, never again to feel the loving embrace of a wife, never to share tender moments, to laugh and to cry together.

I was 72 when Linda died. My father, who did not take care of his health, lived to be 90. When the initial shock of losing Linda subsided, panic set in: “If I live as long as Dad, I’ll have to live 18 more years in this lonely condition!” That thought terrified me! I wanted to fix the situation. But how? I knew that at this stage of life, I would have to get to know a woman very well before considering re-marriage. And the sand was running out of the hour-glass all to quickly! Another song came to mind--September Song:

It's a long, long way from May to December,

But the days grow short when you reach September.

 Attempts at meeting someone through “Christian Seniors” dating services proved to be frustrating, and I soon gave up. My children suggested that I join a Widows and Widowers support group. Since the COVID shutdowns had started, the only groups had to be online.  It was in such an online group that God brought the right person to me. It seemed an unlikely match, with large gaps in ages, cultures, and distance, but as it turned out, I fit the precise profile the lady had been praying for. And she turned out to be just what I needed to get my spiritual life back on track. 

 As our relationship deepened, and I couldn’t hold back from telling everyone who would listen, a new wave to suspicion and disapproval filled the atmosphere. I finally got fed up with explaining and defending the woman and the relationship. That’s when I came to realize that there have been many who have not questioned my wisdom and maturity in this relationship. And they have not all been widowed folks. To those of you who have stood by me, trusted my maturity, and rejoiced in the happiness God has brought me, I say a big, THANKS! To those across the Pacific, SALAMAT PO! You are all precious to me. Perhaps you do understand what is expressed in the chorus of that song I began with:

 And yes, I know how lonely life can be.

The shadows follow me, and the night won’t set me free.

But I don’t let the evening get me down

Now that you’re around me.

 

Since my love is not yet with me, the evenings still get me down—but not as far down. There is hope.