ALL WAS RIGHT FOR A MOMENT

 As I woke up this morning, just for a moment I had the comfortable feeling that all was normal. I had the distinct sensation that my wife was still sleeping by my side and I must be careful not to wake her. It was not as though I had awakened from a bad dream; it was like the bad dream had never happened. The last two years were erased. I would go downstairs, make a cup of instant coffee and have my devotions. Linda would get up in an hour or so and call down to me in her musical voice, “Coffee’s ready!” (She always made cappuccino for both of us.)

 That sensation that she is lying beside me happens a lot. At night I suppress a cough for fear I’ll awaken her. I’m careful about rolling over so as not to disturb her. A verse from Song of Songs always comes to mind:

             I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,

By the gazelles or by the does of the field,

Do not stir up nor awaken love

Until it pleases. (Song 3:5 NKJV)

In those precious fleeting moments, I feel Linda’s presence and life feels normal again. But then the harsh light of reality dispels the illusion. Like an amputee who senses that his leg is still there, I must face the fact that part of me is gone and I must cope without her.