LONELINESS IS A KILLER

I don’t need statistics to tell me that loneliness is detrimental to one’s health. I’m living it. I never had high blood pressure in my life—that is, until my wife fell gravely ill and passed away. Since then, my BP has been borderline hypertensive.

But not always. The exceptions are what point to loneliness as the culprit. The other day an old friend from Bible college and his wife came to visit. We had a wonderful afternoon together and then they took me out to dinner. When I got home I checked my BP: 127/77.  On another occasion when I had enjoyed pleasant conversation, it was 117/ 71. That last reading was after I had preached at a funeral and enjoyed fellowship at the reception afterwards.

 A widow friend commented recently that former friends tend to avoid you when you are no longer a couple. Many people don’t know how to relate to widows or widowers. A friend and former colleague was simply honest at the reception after Linda’s memorial service: “I don’t know how to handle these things.” I told him I appreciated his honesty.

 Loneliness is worse when the sun goes down. There is nearly unanimous agreement on that among widowed folks. Evenings were for the two of us. And a year and a half of solitary existence has not relieved the pain of going to bed alone. I still sleep on “my side” of the bed, as though she is still there or someday will be. When Linda was away helping our daughters-in-law after their childbirth, I would enjoy having the whole bed to myself! I rolled wherever I wanted to. She probably did the same, but we missed each other. And we knew we would soon be back together. Not now. Her side is sacred now.

 It’s not surprising then that loneliness disrupts one’s sleep pattern. Waking at odd hours feeling wide awake is common. That leads to weariness during the day and the need to nap, which further contributes to the erratic patterns.

 God’s assessment in Genesis 2:18 is not academic to me. I feel it profoundly. "It is not good for the man to be alone . . .” It’s not mankind as some translations imply and commentators opine. The definite article is there in the Hebrew. It’s not good for the man, Adam, the only human being on earth, to be alone! Even though Adam had communion with God daily, he experienced the loneliness that there was no one suited for him—until God brought his bride down the aisle.