MISSING PARTS

 

So many things we buy these days, especially online purchases, have to be assembled. And what could be more frustrating than to find that one key part is missing? But in a widower’s life, there are many key parts missing.

 One part of what used to be my life was having someone to talk with. I said someone to talk "with" not “to.” I miss just sharing my thoughts about anything, especially the most insignificant things, curiosities, and to know that Linda would listen and comment. The subject matter may have been insignificant, but the exchange of thoughts, the interaction of our personalities, was precious. She was like my alter-ego who could reflect my thoughts back with some interesting additions that expanded my perspective. I was always a little richer after our talks. That’s a missing part that has not been replaced.

 Another missing part of my life is the beauty Linda added. It was Linda who planted petunias in the flower pots on our balcony. She bought them at a particular roadside vendor that had the greatest variety of colors. Last year I was too distressed by her loss to attempt to plant anything. Besides, the COVID shutdowns in Michigan limited the supply and availability. So the flower pots became overgrown with weeds. That increased my sorrow.

The other day I planted some begonias in the half-barrel by the front porch. I got choked up looking at them, thinking how much Linda loved that display. I haven’t gotten around to the flower pots.

 But the beauty Linda added to my life was so much more than her lovely flowers. It was the beauty of her character, her calm, cheerful disposition that brought peace to my life. Linda was content with simple pleasures: watching the birds from our balcony and identifying their songs, walking along the beach at Lake Huron, cultivating and harvesting our vegetable garden. The beauty of her character permeated my life. With that important part missing, this life just doesn’t function well.

I hold out the hope that these key parts of my life—companionship and beauty—may be supplied by someone new. Of course, those elements will come in a new package with other features I can’t yet imagine. But these essential parts must be there for this guy’s life to function well. I need someone to talk with and someone to add beauty to my life.